7" single release

Irk The River - Valette by sways

The good people at Sways Records have just begun the pre-orders for our maiden 7" single release. It's a limited edition run of just 300 copies of our Valette track with Mind That Child on the flipside. We are super excited about it all and it's released proper on the 31 January. It comes with the free MP3 download link too so you can listen digitally to your hearts content. It's just three quid and you can pick one up over at Sways' online shop or get one if you see one of our shows. There's a live launch planned in February so we'll announce further details about that nearer the time.

Sways are releasing singles by two other groups along with ourselves. The Louche FC and Emperor Zero are both fantastic groups with great singles so we are really happy to be associated with the whole Sways thing. We'll probably give our thoughts (nay even reviews...) on the other groups' tracks in the next few weeks.

We hope you like Valette!

Andy's Lost Phone

So as if losing your phone isn't bad enough the police decide to rub it in with some top class piss-taking?!!

cracking crime by cracking jokes...

The Irk The River Guide on how not to talk about your music group in 2011

Irk The River have decided the best way to talk about and promote our group is this blog. Your group may choose other means but whatever method you use there are some golden rules that we feel you should stick to in order to stop yourselves looking like a bunch of pipes.

Music groups of the world DO NOT:

1.       Go on about your influences – Chances are that you aren't going to sound like them anyway. If the only thing your group offer is that you sound like something else then you need a re-think.

2.       Bleat on endlessly about where you’re from. If all you are is a place where you are from then that’s a sad state of affairs. A popular music track by a certain popular music group comes to mind; “wearing your birthplace/like a murder victim’s overcoat” – ‘Disneyland MCR’ by Irk The River.

3.       List all your Band Member’s Full Names. Who cares? Who actually cares what you are called? Not even you mum. Unless you’re Paul Simon or Jesus nobody has heard of you and whatever your name happens to be is totally irrelevant. Your own Dad doesn't even care (why don't you just get a steady job and prove the old man wrong huh?).

4.       Do ‘the sentence’. “(X) sound like the love child of (insert a band X) and (insert a band X) vomiting to the sound of (insert a band X) after eating too many pancakes on Shrove Tuesday”. These sentences don’t mean anything. They are stupid. They are another way of listing your stupid influences (see 1) while making you all sound like an even bigger bunch of turds than you actually are.

5.       Have photos of you all stood against a wall, looking nonchalantly in different directions like you are all just having a nice rest. See what you’ve just done? You’ve just created a visual piece of history that illustrates your group are a bunch of absolute pipes.

CB

Introduction

Hello and welcome to the Irk The River blog where we have fashioned our own grubby little corner of the internet. We have decided what better way to school the world about the group than to produce this blog. We are going to use it to let people know about the music we’re releasing, the shows we are playing and also to share our extra curricular past times like grumbling and calling each other dicks all the time. It won’t simply be us telling you to come to one of our shit Wednesday night, ‘fiver in’ gigs on a soggy November evening. We hope it will become a living space for us to involve you in our way of looking at the world and vice versa.

We look forward to getting to know each other.

Irk The River x